Thursday, May 31, 2012

No Such Thing as a Free Lunch


The Kola Nut
Are you getting married? Are you going to visit someone important? Have you committed a terrible sin? Are you tired and need a little bit of energy? If you answered yes to any of the previous questions than Kola nuts are just for you! For the cost of only 8 cents you could have your very own, freshly picked, white or red Kola nut, perfect for just about any occasion. 

Guinean men love to joke about marriage. Not a day goes by when someone doesn’t ask me to marry them, or even more forward, to say that I’m already their wife. Rather than flat-out denying that fact, I’ve gotten into the habit if demanding Kola nuts, because everyone knows that you can’t get married (engaged, really) without presenting Kola nuts to the girl and/or her parents. This usually works in my favor, since people don’t generally carry around Kola nuts in their pockets. “Oh, you don’t have any Kola? That’s too bad. I guess I can’t be your wife.”

However, this approach backfired last time I used it and now I think I have 4 husbands. One day while in Kamsar I decided to spoil myself and get lunch at a restaurant that is frequented by PCVs in the region. The owner is fond of us and he told me he would buy a soda for me. I was sitting at the “bar” and talking with the owner, some of the employees and some customers. One of the employees said that I was his wife and before I could decline, the owner refuted him saying that I was his wife. I said that was all fine and well, but he would have to give me Kola nuts otherwise it would be a no-go. He didn’t have any Kola nuts, as I suspected, so instead he said he would pay for my lunch and he also gave me 500 francs (the price of a kola nut). The other customers and employees said that wasn’t good enough, and before I knew it one of the employees disappeared for a few moments and reappeared with a kola nut. Uh oh. Before I could even say anything, one of the customers came up to me with a bag of 4 kola nuts. The situation was starting to get out of hand. Then the man sitting next to me, in despair of his lack of kola nuts, ordered another soda for me, on his tab. I thought I was getting a free lunch and now I have 4 husbands. The men said that I would need to evaluate the gifts from each man and, after a good night’s sleep, make a decision on which one I should actually marry.  I told them I would think it over…Of course all of this was in good humor, but I’m secretly afraid that I will bump into one of them on the street and they will ask me why I haven’t married them yet.

Leçon du jour: Next time you think you are getting a free lunch be careful not to end up with 4 husbands

2 comments:

  1. What a lovely story... and thanks GOD I don't feel any guilt for you having not 1 but yes 4 husbands. Ahhhh my dear, you entry today was the bestest thing for my day even though it's only 11.30 here.
    Well I am happy to see that culturally you are in sync and yes careful on the streets, one of your free lunch husband may ask you again if you have made up your mind. You see how things are different here and there? We go straight to the point ahahaaha. Here, hmmm you know it.
    One thing to suggest to your "husbands" is that none of their gift was high enough to you and your parents. That people around you there also advise you not to pick any of them because they can not provide for you, your family, your brothers sisters and they will not be able to live in America. Try that, post something next.
    Hope you are well with ur 4 husbands, here am looking for just 1 girlfriend and it's so hard. Wish I was home hahahahahaha

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    Replies
    1. Hey Tresor! Haha I'm glad it made your day. I have yet to run into one of my 4 husbands, though I'm sure it's inevitable at some point. And yes, you guys are very straight to the point ;)
      All is well here, school is over so I get a little break, but will be working with the women's group on literacy soon. I hope all is well chez vous and wish we could grab some arabic tea and catch up~

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